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7 Reasons why we remain in bad relationships

febrero 17, 2020
7 Estupidas razones por las que permanecemos en RELACIONES que nos hacen infelices

We all know at least one couple in which the two constantly shout, fight, talk behind each other's backs or cheat when they allegedly say they love each other. But if you mention that the best thing would be for them to separate, they react as if you had shot them both.

Separate us? Why should I separate myself from the person I wish was dead? Although deep down they wanted to, with such contradictory responses they are actually saying: "I'm afraid of being alone."

A study by an English law firm showed that the main reason that people do not separate or remain in harmful relationships is the fear of loneliness, divorce or not being able to have individual financial stability.

According to the study, these are the seven main reasons why people remain in an unhappy relationship.

1. Loneliness

wedding couple sitting talking

Richard Linklater, director of the film BoyhoodHe said: "It is better to be alone than to be with a lover feeling lonely."

Loneliness is a state of mind, and can occur even if we are in a crowd. Staying in a relationship that makes you unhappy can prevent us from being physically alone, but it won't prevent us from feeling that way.

2. Fear

man watching a woman next to him in the street

We were not born accompanied, so we can survive without a person who is with us all the time. Our nature has given us what is necessary to be able to live as independent people, if we are afraid it is because we are not used to being on our own, we are not sure we can find anyone else. We prefer to settle for the unhappiness that we have to risk going out and looking for something better.

3. Blame

Love Votes movie scene where the protagonist breaks up with him

If we are with a person simply because we feel sorry or afraid of hurting them, we will harm them anyway, because they will realize our tension and distancing. Staying together will be a constant reminder of our absence.

4. Time

movie scene I want you, babi and hache in the reunion

To say that we have invested a lot of time in a relationship is not a valid argument. The time we spend with a person is never a waste, since every year, every decade, is a learning experience. You don't have to be ashamed that there is an "ex" in your past.

5. Possessions

scene where the protagonists divorce the movie something happens in las vegas

They can have properties together, but like a broken relationship, they can also be divided. Whether or not you are in a relationship, possessions should not become a burden, and staying together because of what you both possess is ignoring the issues that are pending between you.

6. Regret

blue valentine movie scene where the couple is at a table talking seriously

The feelings that accompany the transition from being in a relationship to no longer being in it may feel like remorse, since we are not used to being alone. Having no one to send messages to or sleeping on our side are adjustments that we can get used to with time, however, true remorse is what happens when we are in the middle of life and realize that we spend all the time Time with the wrong person.

7. Hope

scene from the blue valentine movie where the protagonist is sitting on a bench smoking and looking up at the sky

If it is not broke, do not fix it. If it is broken but has no repair, stop losing your money and accept that you should throw it away.

For some couples who committed to marriage, breaking their vows is only possible when everything has been lost. In a relationship you should evaluate how severe the problems are and if it is worth the effort to fix them. If you realize that you two are incompatible, do not think that the relationship will improve over time. Most likely, your discomfort will get worse as you let it go.