Why do we always return to our ex boyfriends, old lovers, love adventures, etc.? What is the attraction in bringing the garbage back home when it is ready to go to the dump?
It is a difficult concept to understand when analyzing the situation from the outside, when you are not in the shoes of a person who feels so alone that the only thing you are looking for is the company of someone else. But, let's face it, all of us have felt that way on occasion.
Many times, we usually keep a list of "old loves" in the back of our mind, because having a backup plan we feel a certain type of security. We want to maintain that level of comfort, familiarity and a story that we know, we will not meet someone else.
We keep the doors open to these old adventures believing it is a good idea. The truth is that it is not. Here are the reasons:
1. It does not allow you to move forward
Why do you want to intentionally impede your progress in the world of dating? Life is about meeting new people, going to places you've never met, and learning about things that have value. But, by clinging to keeping in your life loves of the past, in your present, prevents you from achieving this.
Mentally and emotionally, you cannot move forward with your life completely, if you do not stop looking back.
2. If it didn't work before, it won't work now
Would you take off and put the same band-aid on a wound over and over again? No. So, why come back and end up with a person who has hurt you in the past, or who just doesn't do you good?
It is self-destructive to get involved in something that you know very well that will not work. Rest assured that if it did not work the first time (or the second, the third), it will most likely not work now. Stop forcing things.
3. It is emotionally exhausting
Leaving the doors open to an old relationship is not healthy. It's hard to stay that way, it makes you wonder about your intuition and your current situation, and most likely, by not working, you end up with a broken heart.
There is a reason why we cannot travel to the past, and it is because the past must be left behind.
Old love must be left behind as you move forward, towards something bigger and better. It is difficult to get away from someone with whom you feel comfortable, but it is much worse to keep getting involved with someone who will surely only hurt you in the end.
4. Makes you look bad
Nobody wants to be with an undecided girl, especially one who does not know who to choose with. By keeping several doors open, or even if only to an ex, it gives people the impression that you cannot go ahead or settle with just one man.
If you want to be with a guy who treats you well, who is only with you and leaves relationships with his old girlfriends behind, then you must do the same for him. Don't get a bad reputation just because you're afraid of cutting ties.
5. It's a mess you don't need
As we grow, we try to have our life in order and maintain an organization in it. But, having all those doors open doesn't help at all. How can you keep up with three ex-boyfriends if you can't even find the car keys in your apartment?
Clear your mind and your heart, remember that a new love is always on the horizon. You have to have hope for the future, and not be afraid to cut ties with old loves once and for all.