Romantic love. To say that it is an absolute falsehood and a product created by cinema and literature would, without a doubt, be a mistake. Sincere love exists, and romanticism is an undeniable part of that process of seduction and attraction between two people.
Now, within this label they are often enclosed ideas that are not entirely true Furthermore, concepts that can be very toxic are added, such as the sense of mutual dependence and absolute devotion. Let's talk about it today. We are sure that you will find it interesting.
False myths about romantic love
Many of us have a «Romantic ideal» in our mind, that is, a series of ideas about what we expect from a perfect couple: understanding, affection, sense of humor, empathy, good communication, respect … Having all these ideals is, without a doubt, something healthy, since we It helps define what we really want and what we are not willing to accept or allow.
However, sometimes we get too carried away by the image of that romantic love that can do everything. A type of love very "sold" throughout literature and cinema, that instills in us concepts that, at times, can be very dangerous. We give you some very illustrative examples:
1. Love is eternal
You may be interested: What is the golden shower?
When we fall in love with a person we need to think that this feeling, that love, will last forever. We do not mean that this idea is false. Absolutely. What we must be clear about is that love is built day by day and moment by moment.
- Never force yourself to think that the relationship you have now should be forever. No one can guarantee us eternal happiness, so it is best to think of the "here and now." Are you feeling good about your partner right now? That's what matters.
- Making commitments is necessary. It helps us reaffirm the bond with the person we love and offers us security. Now, not all relationships last forever and we must be prepared for it.. If we focus our lives around that person with absolute devotion, we risk losing our self-esteem. If at some point our partner fails us, we will see how the world falls apart. So take care of yourself too. Have your own personal space, your career, your friends. Enjoy your "world" together with the "world" of your partner.
2. Love requires total and absolute commitment
Here is another danger associated with the classic image of "romantic love." The woman is always that figure capable of giving up everything for the loved one, someone who gives everything in exchange for nothing for her partner.
- We must remember that healthy love is that where both parties invest equally in said commitment.
- There is delivery on both sides, but the integrity and individuality of each one are also respected. There is trust and respect. They are couples who know how to form a team and do not completely "absorb" each other's identity.
- Never think that love asks nothing in return. In a relationship we must expect many things, we want to be offered respect, happiness, and affection. We want to be valued as people and to be able to grow as a couple.
3. Jealousy is a sign of love
See also: The beneficial effects of having friends
- Being jealous is normal, but like everything, there is a limit. I can feel jealous because I have a commitment to my partner and I would not like to see him in the arms of another person. However, I trust him and we lead a normal life where we establish agreements and calmly discuss any concerns. This would be an example of that healthy jealousy that we can all feel sometime.
- However, it is frequent that within the label of "romantic love" the other person is considered as a possession and, therefore, jealousy is a trigger for situations that are both toxic and dangerous.
- When your partner forces you to dress in a certain way so that men do not notice you, it is not a sign of love. They are jealousy and it is domination. It is a way to cancel yourself.
- If your partner is obsessed with knowing where you are at all times and prevents you from having your time and friends, he is not showing you "romantic love." Unlike. You will be living a toxic relationship where every day, unhappiness will surround you with its suffering. So avoid it.
Romantic love almost always contains very unhealthy dimensions within it. Remember that authentic love, the healthiest, is one that does not dominate, that does not put up walls, that does not drown you. Live a full life with a partner who knows how to listen to you and respect you, where you can both grow as a couple and also individually, enriching yourself every day and at every moment. It is much healthier!
Differences between healthy and toxic love
There are big differences between healthy and toxic love. However, due to emotions, we sometimes get confused. Find out how to identify it. Read more "