Sometimes we cling so much to a relationship out of habit, by idealization or because we truly believe that he is the right person, that we are able to resort to any trick in order to retain that person by our side. However, when a relationship does not last, doing this is like 'drowning kicks', and the only thing that is achieved is to further sink the relationship.
And speaking of intrigues, blackmail is one of the tricks that humans have learned since we were babies, and that at a certain moment we take advantage of what we want. In blackmail there are always two involved: the emotional blackmailer who takes advantage of the other's weaknesses to manipulate him, and the object of the blackmail yields to the reproaches, anger, threats or tears of his partner to do what he or she wants. These are the 10 emotional blackmails you should avoid if you want to keep your relationship healthy:
1. Apply the law of ice
Not saying what you feel, particularly things that bother you, leads to resentment. The best thing is that you avoid remaining silent as blackmail towards your partner; Better take a deep breath and try to explain what you feel without sounding like an accusation. Honesty, openness and transparency are the key to a healthy relationship.
2. Being obsessive compulsive
The first thing you must understand is that you are in a relationship, and that does not mean that you have acquired a property. The other person belongs to you only insofar as he decides to stay by your side because he wants to, but jealousy and insecurity could destroy everything. If you have obsessive behaviors, reflect on where you are in the relationship; This could become more a disease than love.
3. Don't tell him how you feel about him
It is possible that after a time together, you think that your partner does not need to know that you are loved or that it is something that is assumed by the time they have been. You may also feel so comfortable that you bring out your worst face in front of him. We all like to be reminded of how special we are and a 'love you' can save you a lot of trouble in the future.
4. Don't listen
Feelings of joy or anger can lead us to forget that there is another person in front of us; we focus so much on our emotions that we don't listen to what he has to say or the reasons he wants to state.
5. Promise and not fulfill
There is nothing so damaging to a relationship that making promises you can't keep. When you fall into this type of behavior, you only make him lose confidence in you, he will no longer believe you and perhaps he will stop waiting for anything that comes from you.
6. Make yourself the victim
This type of emotional blackmail involves a demand disguised as feelings of pity and guilt. Did you ever cry to get them to forgive you? This is your case. The problem is that when you really cry about something, they won't believe you.
7. Make him feel guilty
Criticism is used to make a person feel guilty and thus correct their attitude or behavior. If you do it consistently, you have a problem. Better be honest with him and don't use his failures as an excuse to punish him or make him feel bad. It is not likely to change and if it does it will not last long.
8. Give to receive
In this type of emotional blackmail, help or favors are offered as a way to bind another person and encourage their obedience or loyalty; for example, give her a great anniversary gift, thinking she would give you an equal or better one.
Forcing a relationship is meaningless. If you resort to this type of blackmail, you will only harm yourself, because he will stay with you only out of obligation or pity.
10. Floating things from the past
When blackmailing with present facts does not work, the blackmailer turns to the past, and if the other begins to give in to the blackmailer's claims, a vicious circle begins that is difficult to break, because it reinforces the behavior of the one who presses to do it with other big issues, and Whoever lets himself press enters a circle of fear where it is increasingly difficult to face the control of the other.